In today's ever-changing and diverse world, we spend a lot of time talking about tolerance. We talk about tolerating other people's religious beliefs, political views, parenting styles, race and so on. I am all for allowing people to be people with their diverse backgrounds and views, what I am not for is the perpetuation of tolerance for the things that are lacking in our own lives. Have we become so conditioned by the media and other outlets that we are now tolerating things that aren't in our best interest? I'm talking about the things in our every day lives that take away from our happiness, that take away our ability to be the best version of ourselves. The boss who always expects us to work nights and weekends, the friend who discounts or downplays what's important to us, the negative self talk we subject ourselves to. These are just a few examples of things we tolerate. So how do we combat or eliminate these little tolerances? We set boundaries. Boundaries for ourselves and boundaries for others. Boundaries keep others(and sometimes ourselves) from walking all over us. They empower and enable us to say no. Boundaries are not about punishing other people or ourselves they are about eliminating tolerance for the things that don't serve us. So how do we set constructive boundaries?
Step 1: Clarify your boundaries
What are your non-negotiables in life? What are your must haves? Translate those non-negotiables and must haves into your life boundaries.
Step 2: Clearly set and communicate your boundaries
What areas in your life are you compromising those values? Who or what are you tolerating that don't align to your values? For each of those areas, what boundaries could you set to eliminate or greatly reduce those compromises?
Step 3: Enforce your boundaries
How can you communicate those boundaries to those around you in a positive way? What changes can you make in your life to enforce the boundaries you have set?
Draw that line in the sand for yourself and don't let yourself or other people cross it. It may be a bit wavy at first, but with practice and determination you will get the hang of it.